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Thank you for visiting this site. Without you knowing it, you were in my prayers this morning, as I make it a part of my morning devotion to pray for anyone who visits this site. May your life and relationships be blessed though Jesus Christ, who strengthens you.
First, a word about being unequally yoked. God’s Word clearly warns us:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
That is pretty strong stuff, and God means what He says. If you are involved in a relationship with an unbeliever, and are not married, I would urge you to think very seriously about ending this relationship. God’s Word must be obeyed. Please feel free to e-mail me with your questions or prayer requests in this regard.
However, there are those who either entered into a marriage before they were saved, were unaware of this command prior to marriage, or chose to ignore God’s warning. What do you do now? If you fall in this category, I don’t have to tell you what a hornet’s nest it can be. But what I will share with you is that there is hope, again, found in God’s Word.
First of all, if you have disobeyed God in this regard, get on your knees as soon as possible and repent for doing what was wrong. But now, get back up, and get to work.
“I hate divorce,” says the Lord. So you must accept, right from the start, that this is not an option. The world would tell you otherwise, but do not listen. There is so much to say on dealing with this matter, that it cannot be contained on this opening page.
No matter how bad things are, you will be amazed at the miracles God can work in your relationship. God may give you the most exciting and wonderful relationship you have ever had, right inside your own troubled marriage. Be aware, though, that God’s plan could include removing a spouse from the situation as well.* I would not lead you astray in this regard, though it is not usually the solution I have seen Him take. But let me summarize to say that God can, and will, remedy your situation, and give you peace, if you only submit to His perfect will, in obedience, right from this point on.
For starters, I offer a 7-day quick fix -- fast start. We are a world desiring quick solutions, fast food, and instant mixes. I cannot promise that all your problems will go away, but I do promise that if you follow these seven suggestions, for seven days, you will have made a giant leap towards the peace and joy that God intends for you to have.
1. Absolutely, without exception, give God the first 30 minutes of your day (or more, if you feel led), to feed on His Word. Satan will work really hard to keep you from doing this. Do not let him rob you of God’s best. See my article on LEFTOVERS in the Inspiration Section of this site. If you have never done a devotion time before, and don’t know where to start, I would suggest you start in the book of Luke in the New Testament. Please feel free to e-mail for more suggestions.
2. When your devotion time in His Word is over, fall to your face, in private prayer time. I literally get on my face on the kitchen floor in total submission to His will for my life. (And I don’t have the cleanest kitchen either; but somehow I don’t notice it!)
3. Check your tongue in response to your spouse. Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…Ephesians 4:29. (See 1 Peter 3:1-2 in #4 below.) This does not mean correcting Him in any way. Do not do that. There is more to say on this subject, but for now, at least for the next seven days, do not say anything negative. On the contrary, express your love, or if you can’t, at least compliment him on one thing, every day! This does not mean you have to bottle everything up inside, but that you will take it to the Lord instead. Sometimes it helps to write it down, very confidentially, just to unburden yourself until you have good prayer time, but I like to take it to the Lord immediately. An additional avenue (only after going to the Lord, first) is to take it to a sister in Christ, who will stay true to the Word. Please feel free to e-mail, as this would be a confidential way of sharing your trials. You must NOT share information about your husband with other people, without his permission, as this falls well outside of your role as a Godly wife. Her husband has full confidence in her …. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12.
4. Here is one nobody likes – submit to your husband. Let there be no power struggles. Let God fight them for you. I promise you, if you are obedient in this regard, God will protect you.** Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of their lives. 1Peter 3:1-2 I cannot stress #4 enough. It is God’s magic. However, your motivation must be to be obedient to this step to glorify God, and not just to fix your own problems, which leads us to #5.
5. Do all that you do for the Glory of God. This earthly existence is short, eternity is forever. Keep your focus there. But for now, …whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17. Walk with the simple assurance, that God is in control, but get to work. Take some time every day to clean up your house (even if it is just for 30 minutes, hopefully one hour), take a shower, get some exercise and eat right. You need to be organized and energetic to do God’s work. Sometimes, in depression, we let ourselves get bogged down and neglect these important areas of our life. Satan loves it, because it only fuels more depression and hopelessness.
6. Take a few minutes, just a few, or more if you like, every day, to thank God for the blessings you have, and to enjoy them. Sometimes it is as simple as hugging your spouse or your child, feeling his/her warmth and listening to his/her breath of life. Sometimes it is a few minutes on the back porch watching a sunset or feeling a gentle breeze on your face. God gave you so much to enjoy.
7. Love your husband. Do you not know that it is an act of will to love? Too many people confuse love with emotions. Pray for God to fill you with love for your husband, and don’t stop praying until it happens. Many times we pray for things that we are not sure are His will. We might pray for a loved one to overcome an illness, and then God takes them home instead. But when we pray for something that is in line with His will, please know that you can have absolute faith that that prayer will be heard. …train the younger women to love their husbands and children. Titus 2:4 This does not necessarily mean “younger” women in age, but those who are younger in their walk with the Lord. I promise you that God will give you a love for your husband that will surpass anything you knew when you were dating, and all of your expectations. Do you have resentments from past hurts? We all do from time to time. Pray for God to allow you to forgive. He will do that, and more. Let Him be the one to take revenge or dole out justice. If you harbor grudges, it will make you physically sick, and Satan will use this to block you from being “in love” with your husband. You really can let go. E-mail me for help in this, if you need it.
To be truly in love with your husband is an awesome thing. Don’t let the world tell you otherwise. It is just around the corner.
Jot these seven steps down somewhere where you can check them off or remind yourself throughout the day. If you fail, get back up and start again. I know that if you do these things for seven days you will see the power of God begin to flourish in your life. Then continue, for another 14 days. It takes 21 days of doing something repeatedly to begin to develop a habit, that can last a lifetime.
Here, a warning – Your endeavor to complete these steps will undoubtedly be tried, both by Satan and very likely, your husband, based on past experience. Hang tough. Pray daily to overcome these obstacles. Put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:11). Persevere when it is the most difficult, and I know you will be rewarded. I can tell you, that sometimes it takes a long time for a husband to trust a change in a relationship, and that Satan does not want you to succeed in this regard. But, I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. Our biggest problem is a little one, to God. (see NO CONTEST in Inspirations)
I would love to hear from you on how things are going. I would love to pray for you specifically, or share more of my own personal experience in this matter. Feel free to e-mail, and from time to time, feel free to visit the inspiration section where I am very happy to share some of what God has given me in this endeavor.
Finally, I thank God for my husband of 23+ years.
*But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?… 1 Corinthians 7:15-16. But again, this is only if you have done God’s will in the matter, not if you are pushing him away from you by nagging or being disobedient to God’s Word in your marriage.
**I will add one note here, and that is that if you ever feel that you or your children are in danger from your spouse, either because of physical abuse, emotional abuse, addictive behaviors or any other harmful things, seek the Lord’s guidance in this area. It is not wrong to remove yourself from a harmful situation, temporarily. I would caution you, though, that you must not do this out of a desire for revenge or manipulation. And you must make it clear to your spouse that you are simply staying safe, and that your desire is to be reunited. You must confirm your commitment to the relationship because, ..if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14